I don’t think I know what I’m made of, people don’t think I know what I’m made of. Does anyone, without a shadow of a doubt, know what they’re made of? Are we simply all lingering in this place of wonder, instead of leaping in, diving into the depths of our Souls? Yeah, it’s that deep.
Have you ever been really good at something, and I mean infinitely talented at a particular subject, art, hobby, ability? Have you ever doubted that with all your heart? Ditto; same here. We’re human. Though, dare I ask, have you ever believed, with all your heart, in how amazing you are at whatever particular area your talents reside in? Up until not too long ago, I would have answered this with a resounding “no.” I have found the beauty in accepting my mistakes as learning experiences and milestones in my personal and spiritual growth. This leads me to a thought I had yesterday afternoon…
I’m watching my son playing at the park yesterday and I, being the big people observer and lover of both children and adult psychology, felt his desire to have “mommy see him” pull off that stunt on the monkey bars. Don’t you remember that feeling? Looking up after doing something you just knew was awesome to ensure mommy, daddy, the babysitter, that cute boy you have your eyes on “caught that?” Is it possible that we still do that, but instead of in hopes of having people notice, we hope that they don’t or didn’t? Is it possible that we do this because mommy, daddy, the babysitter, that crush we had – didn’t look? Not that they didn’t notice, not that they didn’t care (in some case, they, harshly put – didn’t…and I’m sorry for anyone who has gone through such things), it was that we noticed they didn’t look right when we FELT and KNEW we were doing something incredible. So, that feeling of it being so amazing, so astounding, so “professional,” so impressive – no longer was…
As human beings, we tend to fixate too much on the “bad” aspects of ourselves, others, and life in general. Maybe, just maybe our impressive ninja skills on the playground WERE noticed, we just only fixated on the times they weren’t. Once that added up to enough times, we felt unnoticed. Know, one of the biggest fears in life is that we are either unlovable or not worthy of love, this usually being due to the fact that we have built up the belief that no one would notice our talents, but only our self-proclaimed failures.
Always needing validation to feel worthy of being recognized, I struggled for the bigger part of my life challenging my own Self by fighting my own strengths. I fought my own weaknesses too, of course; though, I spent too much time dwelling in that battle and forgetting to bring my strength to the war (of which I created for myself). I had to learn the difference between putting up my “shield” vs. building walls. Walls keep everything and everyone out – shields are your boundaries, morals, the way in which you live your life. We all use these shields to keep us safe, but shields are without fear and used in love. Walls, again, keep out everyone and everything and are with fear, not used in love. Running away is an example of this, pushing everyone away is one as well. I have done both.
It’s all about having goals that are accessible to you, ones that you can actually reach without overdoing it with the pressure you put on yourself. I’ve made a few videos on a Youtube channel I’m going to be publishing and I’ve done a couple videos on my private Facebook group. Which can be found here. The first one I ever did was very dimly lit and I was so afraid, but I pushed through. It takes a lot, truly a lot of courage to push through your fears, especially when you are capable of something so amazing but are too worried that other people won’t “look up”? Even at times, you just may be too worried people WILL actually look up? What then?
Let them look, sing louder, laugh prouder; basically:
Be free to be you!!
You’re gonna get “choked” up on your literal or figurative stage from time to time, you just may feel like you’re about to lose your voice, but in that moment, that very moment…if you let yourself, you’ll find it again.
Keep shining – we are all stars!